Afraid of the dark PART 3

[Ste7e]

Sandi I see your point.
After rereading DR yesterday I also saw that my active fighting for my M is what didn't work anyway to begin with which is why I came to investigate the DB approach in in the first place.

I guess yesterday and the night before I made the terrible call, I was thinking I could reason and showing that I was fighting for the M would be seen as a romantic gesture like in the movies. W is a big fan of the movie valley girl where the hero makes these romantic gestures which wins the girl over in the end. We had just talked about that movie at dinner before and I thought maybe this is what she wants me to do actively show I care. But as DR says things aren't like in the movies.

And every response I got from her in the call was that nope this is not what she wants me to do. She wants me to sign the D papers is all so she can move on. And like she said in the conversation the next day is that she wants me to sign because she is afraid I will retaliate in the D in some way vs an amicable non contested split. I am willing to sign to show her that is not my intention and maybe make a gesture to help her regain some trust in me. Although I don't understand why she doesn't trust me, which hurts alot cause I am a very open and honest and non vindictive person. But it suggests to me that I am doing something which makes her not trust me. Its just so hard because I feel like signing is also saying I give up and that my M and any hope of Rec. is evaporating in front of me.

I can also see how the in person we had before the call where I was detached and following your rules actually worked alot better. Even though it was about something I didn't want to happen how I handled it was a 180 and if I had just stayed the course and went home and cried my eyes out for a day I wouldn't have lost the 16 days of forward momentum I had gained. Instead here I am at day #1 again argh