MLC with regret? Artista?

[Davide]

Thanks. I am comfortable at the moment but monitoring. I have impulses towards being controlling, so letting that go is part of my 180.

Regarding the triggers, there really isn't one life event that I can put my finger on other than her turning 30. She got a new job about 4 months before turning 30 and while that was a god-send at first, it has become hard for her because she is so isolated. She works from home and has little contact with other people, and it can be a high stress job. But that was 4 years ago. If there was a precipitating event it was more on my side as I fell into a bad depression about 9 months ago, and became very needy and codependent.

Thanks for the clarification on the guilt. I agree that she can be very childish at times, she was constantly talking about her own happiness and seemingly blaming the relationship for holding her back. Hopefully she realizes that being alone doesn't fill that hole either. So there is this strange dichotomy where she is unhappy and blames the marriage, but doesn't blame me. She thinks it is her problem, that she isn't cut out for marriage, or that she lost her love for me, and she beats herself up for it.