I do know that he is not like other people. He does not think like other people....he is very black and white and his reactions to me can be completely over the top. No one understands him, truly.
Quote:
if you were my friend, my sister, my niece, i would tell you to go DARK... NO CONTACT...
The people closest to me have told me that...but we have 4 kids so this will never be an option for me. And he really is an amazing father. The kids adore him.
I guess even twisted and scary people can have some great qualities...I mean no one would stay with them otherwise right? And of course, things are never twisted and scary ALL THE TIME, so you learn to normalize the bad things and live with it. Things that most "normal" people would never put up with. I mean do twisted and scary people play with your hair, open your car door, rub your feet, buy your wine, etc.? I don't know! All I know is that I simply can't say that my H is an abuser without feeling like I'm being totally dramatic. And of course what I know his response would be rings in my ears as well....I'm only trying to justify the things I've done...to the point where I can't even trust my own feelings because I hear his every time. Even if he doesn't say it, I hear it in my head anyway because I know what he WOULD say. I abuse myself half the time, he doesn't even have to!
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
