After my WW recently said that she wants to start dating others, I also decided that I can start to talk to other women, even though I will not be ready for dating any time soon.
Well it's a fine line to walk, I kind of started the same way with just thinking "maybe I'll start talking for now" but once you go there things escalate very quickly. We're just very starved for affection after BD, especially many months later since we probably have not been having sex with our W either. I started seeing women a little over a year after BD and in retrospect I can see I still wasn't ready, there were still a lot of feelings there for W that interfered with new relationships. It's different for every person, I've known people that bounced back really fast and others that still can't or won't date years later. Anyway, I'm just saying be sure you're ready because once someone starts pushing the right buttons you're going to be diving in.
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I know Im not ready in dating at all now, and would not date this girl even if I would be ready due to personality issues (also dont really like ladies being that pushy)
Why is this reminding me of The 40-Year-Old Virgin's boss
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Also knowing how nasty my WW betrayed me, sex with this woman could help me to mentally detach from her IDK.
I suspect if you did it for that reason you've just feel scummy afterwards. I've never been one to have sex just for the hell of it, I have to have a deep connection with her first. Anything else and the sex just feels cheap and meaningless.
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It would feel weird to have sex with anyone else than W after been faithful to her for so many years.
Yup, it absolutely feels weird. It's hard to describe, but you feel like you are the one having an affair. It was really tough for me to perform at first. It just felt "wrong".
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How have you others figured out having sex, and if you have had it, has it disturbed your healing process?
I don't think it hurt my healing process any, but like I said it just felt strange and not very fulfilling. I'm many year's D'd now and have been in my current R for 3 years or so, and at this point sex with my GF seems normal (and I might add, MUCH more intense and exciting then it ever was with my ex) and remembering sex with my ex seems very strange, distant and a little alien. So you will be able to enjoy sex again, it just takes a while to adjust after you've been in an LTR.
