She stopped by just now for a second to pick up a couple of things for a trip out of town. She was nice, I was nice, and for the few minutes she was here, I was doing fine.
She smiled a big, awkward smile. She just said she was happy that I'm doing good.
She left. Then I went back upstairs and just lost it. I'm still losing it.
It's really difficult to keep up the energy needed to be okay around her. And when she leaves, I just feel empty.
How do yall keep this up? This is exhausting. I believe it's worth it, but the back and forth between being a self-directed grown adult man and being an empty shell of a human is really, really exhausting.
