Thanks for your advice Cadet, I will keep posting. I've been reading threads about LBS's detaching all day and now I feel quite angry at my W for the first time.
I think the anger is coming out as my fear is finally subsiding. She emotionally detached a long time ago and didn't tell me anything, she talked to everyone else but me then dropped the DB, then she proceeded to have an EA and was lost in limerence while I was going through hell. Now she has the cheek to say things to me like "don't get your hopes up" I think I'm finally done with her now, regardless of the consequences.
lusa just a word of caution. Be careful with pronouncements of finality. The threads here are littered with LBSs that were at the I am done point, only to turn around in a day or two to be about to initiate an R talk, and I miss her so much, I can't live without her language. This is a process. Fear is the first emotion. Anger follows. Then you move back into fear. Then to resignation, then to anger, then to fear. It is literally a roller-coaster ride.
Remember, she is on her own roller-coaster too. That is why being detached, remaining calm, being ever present is so important. The analogy is like a lighthouse. No matter what the seas are like you are there on the shore as a rock steady beckon of light.
So while you shouldn't shun these emotions, you need to feel them as you are experiencing them, neither should you use them to make final decisions. There will be plenty of time for that. Remebmer, limbo is the gift of time.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
