Can I really do this #2

[SteveLW]

So BIG night last night. She blew up on the phone yesterday at me very much as I mentioned. I got home, went on my run, things settled down and she came up to me looking to talk. She said that she wasn't taking anything she said back, but she was sorry that it was a very long thyroid rage filled tirade. That she was very emotional and just ready to get things moving forward. She the presented her left hand to me and said "I just wanted you to know that I took my wedding ring off today. I just think it was time. I need to detach and this was symbolic for me to do this." I was hurt as I did figure this was coming some day, just didn't think it would be then. I flinched for a moment, made a jab or two, then re-focused and realized that (at least I think) this is her VERY much trying to solidify her position in her mind. She is struggling with her decision. She is hard pressed to stick to it. Yesterday was a hard day for her and this was her way of standing up and doing all she could to move it forward. Thoughts on this???
After her confusing non apology, I just said "ok".

Yes this is exactly what you think it could be. She is rebelling against her feelings of starting to want to change. Even the accusing you of seeing someone is her trying to keep justifying in her mind her decision to D. As I think it was you I told yesterday, this is all good even though it hard to go through. Her accusing you, her removing her ring, IMHO, is her obviously questioning her decision and therefore trying to muster up reasons and actions to stay the original course she had set her mind on.

JS, you are doing well. You are handling things well. The jab or two was a mistake. Cool, loving detachment with validation should have been your reaction. "I am sorry you feel that way, however I feel that since we are married we should still wear our rings." You validate her feelings, but stated yours.

And yes, it is easier to think of what to say or should have said after the fact. So I think you handled it pretty well considering you got blindsided with the ring thing. This is why if you were expecting it it helps to have your reaction and response ready to go. Again, easy to say afterward, harder to do in practice since your hope is you never have to do it.