I did multiple times, but you never listened! But She didnt. Ever. Never once did she even hint that she was unhappy.
Yeah, I know. Mine didn't either, but on BD she sure claimed she did. Said she tried for 19 years, as in "I gave it all I had and now I am giving up."
WWs love to rewrite history. And they all think that sighs, and eye rolls = telling us they are unhappy.
same deal with me. She claimed that she brought it up several times she never did. There were several times where I tried to ask her what was wrong and she told me nothing I'm fine but then once everything came out of the Woodworks she tried to tell me that she had explained several times that she was unhappy. Sheer craziness
Yep, this is what WWs are good at. I think it is one of those things where they expect us to just know. "I shouldn't have to tell you!" I hate that. I am not a mind reader. Tell me when I've done something wrong, or said something wrong, or that you are feeling a certain way. Oh well, likely Adam had this same issue with Eve...........
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So WW is was being weirdly nice yesterday. I think because she was asking me something she wanted to know as opposed to me asking her something. This text exchange took place last night as I drove 2 hours to meet my parents and drop S3 off for a long weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.
WW: "Did you make a evening time chart for S3 like the school asked?
(2 hours later, as i had been driving) Me: "Yes"
WW: "Can You send a picture of it so i can make one that looks similar so they are consistant?"
Me (about 9:45 at this point): "Sure, As soon as i get home"
WW: "Did you guys already head up north or are you leaveing another day?" (She seems to think I was going to my parents house with S3, but I didnt. I sent him up for a solo visit)
WW: "He will have so much fun"
Me (after getting home at 11:25pm) : *Sends picture of chart* Me: "Yes He will have fun"
Doubting I will hear from her again for a while. We'll See i guess.
---------------------------
She was fishing for if and when I was heading to my parents house, i chose not to answer that question. Just stuck to the stuff directly pertaining to S3.
----------------------------------
Also, and I may catch some flak here as it may be looked at as snooping, but here goes.
The day of divorce hearing i posted a photo online of me in my fancy clothes (White Shirt, Black Tie, Fresh haircut, Sunglasses) captioned "Secret Agent Man" My friend asked what the fresh threads were all about, and I commented "Just looking my best for divorce court"
WW And i are blocked from each-other on all social media.
I later realized the photo and its comments were set to public instead of friends only and deleted it.
This is the same day she changed her last name and dropped all photos containing me off of Facebook.
Then 2 days later Shes being strangely nice to me. So despite being blocked, she seems to have reacted to events online, which tells me she is either looking at my stuff or having someone do it for her.
I know this is mind reading attempts here, and I'm guilty of it. However this all seems connected somehow.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
O - My assumption is that she is being nice because you are not applying any pressure. When she pokes her head out like this it is an opportunity to show her that you are happy and enjoying life. I know you vent a lot on the board so continue doing it here, get it all out of your system, so you can only show her a happy and confident man that is not sweating her or the sitch.
It's ok everyone mind reads early on.....completely normal.
O - My assumption is that she is being nice because you are not applying any pressure. When she pokes her head out like this it is an opportunity to show her that you are happy and enjoying life. I know you vent a lot on the board so continue doing it here, get it all out of your system, so you can only show her a happy and confident man that is not sweating her or the sitch.
It's ok everyone mind reads early on.....completely normal.
Just seems odd because the last two times we talked it was very normal stuff just about S3 and she was very short and curt. THe only difference is that those times i reached out to her, not the other way round. Also, she had something she wanted to know this time.
I guess her car crapped the bed Tuesday as well. KARMA! She is currently driving OM's truck, which should be a laugh as she always has been a piss poor driver in a regular sedan, let alone a full size pickup that isnt hers
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I can tell you my EW reaches out to me about 90% of the time and when she does she is usually joking around and is in good spirits. Her communication via email and text seems to be more happy as well. I think some times they hold back in F2F conversations because they don't want to give the LBS the wrong impression.
I have loosened up some now that we are D'd but early on I was very strict about initiating conversation with the EW. IMO her stance will soften over time, doesn't mean she wants to recon, but I think you will she her warm up some.
I think some times they hold back in F2F conversations because they don't want to give the LBS the wrong impression.
Itll still be a long time before we have any F2F outside a courtroom, soshe shouldnt have to worry about that for at least a year.
Originally Posted By: Joseph9
I have loosened up some now that we are D'd but early on I was very strict about initiating conversation with the EW. IMO her stance will soften over time, doesn't mean she wants to recon, but I think you will she her warm up some.
Well id say since she is still in a full blown R with OM (she can never be single, should have seen that as a glaring red flag) Recon isnt going to be on her mind for a long time, if ever. Not interested anyway, not after all shes done and lied about.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
WW: "was i mistaken in being told you were going to your parents with S3? And that you would have him until Monday, not that he would be up there until Tuesday?"
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
So WW is was being weirdly nice yesterday. I think because she was asking me something she wanted to know as opposed to me asking her something. This text exchange took place last night as I drove 2 hours to meet my parents and drop S3 off for a long weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.
WW: "Did you make a evening time chart for S3 like the school asked?
(2 hours later, as i had been driving) Me: "Yes"
WW: "Can You send a picture of it so i can make one that looks similar so they are consistant?"
Me (about 9:45 at this point): "Sure, As soon as i get home"
WW: "Did you guys already head up north or are you leaveing another day?" (She seems to think I was going to my parents house with S3, but I didnt. I sent him up for a solo visit)
WW: "He will have so much fun"
Me (after getting home at 11:25pm) : *Sends picture of chart* Me: "Yes He will have fun"
Doubting I will hear from her again for a while. We'll See i guess.
---------------------------
She was fishing for if and when I was heading to my parents house, i chose not to answer that question. Just stuck to the stuff directly pertaining to S3.
----------------------------------
Also, and I may catch some flak here as it may be looked at as snooping, but here goes.
The day of divorce hearing i posted a photo online of me in my fancy clothes (White Shirt, Black Tie, Fresh haircut, Sunglasses) captioned "Secret Agent Man" My friend asked what the fresh threads were all about, and I commented "Just looking my best for divorce court"
WW And i are blocked from each-other on all social media.
I later realized the photo and its comments were set to public instead of friends only and deleted it.
This is the same day she changed her last name and dropped all photos containing me off of Facebook.
Then 2 days later Shes being strangely nice to me. So despite being blocked, she seems to have reacted to events online, which tells me she is either looking at my stuff or having someone do it for her.
I know this is mind reading attempts here, and I'm guilty of it. However this all seems connected somehow.
Well done OK! You handled her perfectly. Her being nice may have been due to the picture, or it may have been due to something else. As you said it is mind reading, but it is interesting timing. Personally I would have left the pic up (this coming from a guy that thinks Facebook is a major evil and doesn't even have an account! LOL)
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
WW: "was i mistaken in being told you were going to your parents with S3? And that you would have him until Monday, not that he would be up there until Tuesday?"
Just tell her she was never told that, and that this was always the plan.
Then I'd go dark.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
