Yes. The main reason that I stopped the medication was because of the nearly non-stop panic attacks that I was having. Being off of the medication has been a really great thing as far as reducing them. I have an appointment on the 29th. If I can make it to the appointment (money has been a major issue lately), then I'm going to talk to the doctor about perhaps a lower dosage to help with focus, but not a top-end dose.
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If you have anger issues, then take anger management. Take a course in how to fight fairly, or keeping respectable communication. It's going to be difficult to show a lot of respect for her when she is not demonstrating very respectable standards in her life. I'm just saying that it's not just your side of the street that needs cleaning. However, I do agree that this part is up to you.
Well said. I don't really have anger issues, at least none that I can see. When I do argue back, I tend to leave out the sugary coating and just deliver facts. One of the problems is that it feels like either way, sugar coated or not, she feels that if I'm disagreeing that I'm actually arguing. I'm learning to just listen, disagree, but not necessarily try to "win" the argument. That seems to be helping except in some rare instances.
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Based on her answer I'd get into MC immediately. If she won't go then go without her.
I've had one counseling appointment so far that I've been to. I set up a followup, but didn't have the money to go to it. I found another therapist, and followed their instructions for setting up a session, but I didn't get a call back to set one up...even after I tried to call them again.
Part of the problem that I'm currently running into is that it takes money to set up appointments. I still have insurance for a couple of weeks...but nothing left after bills to cover the copays. Essentially, she paid off everything in her name before she moved out, and I'm having to swing everything in my name...whether it's a bill that we both have used or not. Considering that, I've had to stop paying a lot of bills just to cover expenses like debts, and start prioritizing rent, car note, utilities, and internet (I could cut this out, but it really wouldn't make that big of a dent...plus I'm going to need it to find a new job. I know there are free options, but my laptop doesn't work if it's not plugged in...it's a crazy situation).
Right now, it just feels like literally everything is stacked against me. I feel like I'm doing what I can, but I keep discouraging myself.
I really want my S to have a functioning, together family. Neither my W nor I ever had that. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes...it's just being able to do those things that is proving to be difficult.
I really wish that there were free MC options. I would jump on that opportunity.
Also...I have a really hard time putting together whole thoughts sometimes (it's the ADHD thing). I'm a lot better answering specific questions than I am trying to write out thoughts and fill in blanks...sorry.
I really appreciate the feedback Sandi2 and Steve85. I want to work through this so much...any advice yall have on navigating this mess is greatly appreciated.
