Pool lessons

[Zues126]

Thanks guys. You're right G, who the heck knows the deeper reasons people do the things they do.

Today my sister posted something about how she had married dead finance (DF). DF's mom performed the ceremony. She heard DF's voice say "I do" and felt his spirit in the nature as they walked through the places they used to spend time in together. This post was two pages long.

Now, this could be done in a way that made people think "That is so sweet". But the way it was done made me think "Norman Bates". It wasn't just me. My mom agreed that the post was creepy and delusional, and my mom is heading over to my sister's mother's place because she is freaked out after reading that post. You'll have to take my word for it. It was an 11/10 on the craziness scale.

My mom thinks sister was addicted to DF. I think she projected so much onto DF she hardly could see who he was, her glasses weren't just rose tinted, they were solid rose. Rose everywhere. DF stopped being a real person and he just became the symbol for every positive emotion she ever had. I'm talking major fog.

I'm ashamed to say this but I don't care. I'm almost sad that he died because I wanted to see this thing go down in flames so maybe she could get a wake up call and stop being so darn crazy.

The funny thing is it reminded me of the facebook post my XW made the day she came to after her failed suicide attempt. It was so expansive and overly dramatic and attention and sympathy and support seeking. I can't describe it. It was like a celebrity that goes to treatment and wants to be adored for it. When I told that to my mom she one hundred percent agreed. She speculated that's why sister and XW hit it off so well. They both lived in this dreamy world of twue wuv and happiness. No surprise they both were swept up in their respective affairs and both filed Ds.

This is why I have a low tolerance to embroidered sayings on pillows and pictures of pretty clouds with cliches about life on them. It's so XW.

And I have a deep distrust for people. Jordan Peterson said that money doesn't solve problems, and that in many cases it exasperates them because it removes the limits on the damage they could inflict on themselves. As long as someone has to go to work, as long as they can't afford to go off the deep end because of life consequences, reality holds them in check. But with enough money they can get lost. Think middle ages. A serf that had to work 14 hours a day might have crazy potential, but it couldn't be let out because they have to work. But the kings, boy, could THEY get out of control! Let's drive out all infidel, or conquer the world, or have 500 wives, or whatever else they feel they are destined to do.

I feel like there are two things that traditionally kept people's crazy in check: Hardship and society's belief system. And they are both eroding. Everyone of us today lives like a king of the middle ages. And our cultural values are helter skelter with the most consistent belief being that we are all free to find our own beliefs. What's left to reign in people's craziness? NOTHING.

I look around and so many people are so smug in what they think are enlightened belief structures, but meanwhile when you zoom way out and look at their lives they are train wrecks causing collateral damage to whoever gets too close. But they don't see that, because they either rewrite the narrative or don't acknowledge the damage they've done because hey, if it makes you happy it can't be that bad.

So you guys want to know why I'm the lone ranger over here? That's it. I think people don't place enough value on what matters that I could bring, they're too caught up in things that I don't feel matter that I might not, and they are too destructive for me to want to invite that into my life.

And I'm human and probably no different. I might be crazy and just as destructive. But for some reason when I'm on my own I feel sane and grounded. I am being a good father, a good employee, and I'm doing what is in front of me. I don't feel crazy. But who does? So just in case, it's nice to know I won't hurt anyone else.

Maybe I'll feel differently in 5-10 years. I could write all the rebuttals, there's probably women that feel the same way, you just have to know what you're looking for and get out there, etc. Well, I know what I'm looking for right now. What I've got. I'm doing ok. I'll raise my kids and see where I'm at when my youngest graduates.

Thanks for listening gang. Sorry I haven't been more active on your threads. I feel close to y'all and distant due to some differences we have as well. No one needs to hear how I don't think serial relationships or FWBs or casual sex are terrible or that they should quit dating forever for the reasons above. So I just keep to myself. But I love all of you guys and hope you each prove me wrong. For what it's worth you are some of the lease crazy people I know