Firstly, thank you to everyone for sticking through with me. I get i can be difficult sometimes. Loving someone infinitely and hating them with the passion of 1000 Suns at the same time is a difficult challenge.
I just want to have 1 opportunity to sit her down and lay out all my frustrations, but i know she wouldn't hear me. Overall ive been doing better lately. this is definitely the biggest relapse in a while. I knew seeing her, and going to court would play with my emotions, just the delayed response caught me off guard. I left court on Tuesday feeling great. It felt like a victory, but when that faded off a bit, i came to realize there is no victory here. this whole thing is a crying shame, a tragedy, so no, there is no victory. Just survival.
Im just going to keep my head down and get through to the weekend. I need this weekend really bad. Im trying not to call out of work tomorrow, as i am sorely tempted to do so. I NEED the time to myself, but i am on thin ice with work as it is.
thank you all. Steve, Joseph, Makia, Sandi, Vanilla, Ginger, MTB, thank you thank you thank you. it means the world that you are all so compassionate when its the source of all my pain that SHOULD be the one there to hold me up in my time of need, as opposed to a bunch of people who dont even know me. you restore my faith in humanity.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
