Right? Not a word. WTF is that? Do they expect us to have read their mind and know that now that they have gotten all the things they have been shooting for for years, they all the sudden decide they want a totally different life
Based on the information you've provided, your W went into a relationship with you under false pretenses. She had an ulterior motive. I don't see her actions as the "usual" WW in M scenario. In her case, reading her mind would have been the last thing she wanted you to do, b/c she was hiding the truth.
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How did you get there? this is my final struggle, if i can get over the need for answers, explinations and apologies i feel like ill be able to truly move on
Shortly after I had joined the board, I was reading a post from a LBH who was upset that his WW had not apologized to him. I'm embarrassed to say that I wrote a scorching response. He was little prepared to handle it. I still had the heart of a WW, although I had ended my A and decided to stay in my M. What I told him in that post was the hard, cold truth......straight from the heart of a WW. But you know what? It wasn't what he wanted to hear. So, I think he pretty much rejected what I told him.
You will never get your answers, Orange. Even when someone tries to respond with something they've learned or experienced.....it only leads to more questions in your head. I'm not finding fault, b/c I see it as a normal reaction. But you have got to resign yourself to accept the outcome and stop this constant struggle of trying to figure out your crazy W. You can't do it, and neither can anyone else that is not a professional shrink. Even then, more information would be needed from her.
You are not going to get answers/explanations from her. Not one that is satisfactory. I don't think you'll get an apology, but if you do.......I think it will take YEARS before you hear it. So, give it up! Even if she apologized today, you would not let it go. You would want more answers from her. It's not going to happen. Accept it and move on.
Every LBH I have seen rise above his pain and confusion, has credited a great deal of it to GAL. I know you have a lot of cubicle time at work that seems to be the toughest. You have to purposely direct your thoughts on other things, and stop giving this cr@p your attention. The more you feed this wolf, the bigger he's going to get.
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I just cant wait for the day the GAL and 180's im doing and will have done fall into realization for her. it will be a good day.
What makes you think you would ever know about it.........if she does realize? You talk as if she's going to call you and express her feelings of realization. If it does hit her.....you won't know about it.
Why is vindication such a great need for you? If you know you did your best, and if you know you are not the bad guy here.....then why does it bother you what she tells her friends or that she doesn't give you an apology? That's on her.....not you. In case you've wondered, that is how the real bad guy acts! They lie, put down the good guy, refuse to own up anything, refuse to do the right or honorable actions, refuse to make things right, etc. You talk as if you are expecting this crazy woman to do the honorable thing.......when her track record shows that is not her MO. Why are you looking for her to act like a good guy when, clearly, she isn't? That is not rational to me.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
