You will never make sense of what happened. TBH it is best if you just move on with your life. Easier said than done, I know but in the long run you will be better off for it.
Everyone keeps saying that, but its not like a button or a switch to be flipped. Ive tried, im trying. Easier said than done is the understatement of the year. I feel awful when i admit this, but i had an easier time grieving the death of my brother. I know why, i understood it. I know all the pieces and parts that lead up to this horrific event, it took a long time to heal from, but not like its been with this WW situation. And here's the rub, my other brother still struggles with the death of our eldest brother A LOT. Would ANYONE ever tell him to "Just move on with his life" regarding the death of a sibling? No way, not in a million years. that would be so taboo to say. So why is a marital affair any different? I think it speaks loudly of the state of marriage in the US when "Get over it and move on" is the adage of the day when dealing with this.
Im not trying to be hard on you Joseph, i appreciate your input a lot. its just a very frustrating thing to keep being told when my response has always been "Don't you wish i could just move on? Do you think i want to feel this way?"
That frustration is understandable. But do you see why it is also frustrating to see someone say one day "I am completely over her and don't even miss her!" And then the next on the verge of texting her to try and talk her out of what she is doing. OK, as I've said before, we care which is why we keep trying to talk you done when you go into a high, I am over this! And why we try to pull you up by your hair when you are down in the depth's of despair.
We all have been there. So we get it.
Also, I don't have the energy to go into it but dealing with a marital affair and losing someone in death are apples and oranges, for a lot of reasons. But even in the case of losing someone, yes at some point a person should be told to get over it and move on. Being stuck in mourning forever is not healthy. And we ALL are going to die one day, so we shouldn't be surprised when people do. It is hard, but is part of life.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
