Advice on My Scenario Pt. 8 - No Anger, Know Peace

[OrangeK]

And I've persistently told you that you have wayyyyyyyy too much down time to dwell on it.

Sunday with S3 All Day - He keeps me busy.

Monday - Up early get S3 ready for school, head right to work, work till 5:30, Get S3 and drop him off with MIL. Monday night is one night a have mostly free, and i find when i am home things are generally not too bad.

Tuesday - Work, then get S3, bring him to grandparents, Fire Department meeting and D&D Game on tuesday nights. Usually dont get home till about 11pm

Wednesday - Work All Day, Another Gamenight with friends, usually ends around midnight.

Thursday - Work all day, Get S3 and have him all night.

Friday - Bring S3 to school, Work all day, have S3 all night

Saturday - Drop S3 off with MIL, then day off, usually spent with friends.

So where is all this time to wallow you speak of.
The only time is at work. My job is toxic for me as i have too much time to dwell. Looking into other careers.

You need to find activities to occupy your mind and thoughts. You've mentioned some kind of game playing. Do you have video games you can immerse yourself in? Are you a runner? Go for a run! Get busy. I've often said (maybe too you) that you should get self-help books, relationship books, and read them. This helped me immensely would I would start to spiral like you were doing earlier in this thread.

See above.

The thing is that anyone can sit and wallow and they play the victim and say "I can't help it". Or you can be the alpha dog that takes the bull by the horn and says "I'm going to drag myself out of this!" That is what GAL is about. That is what staying busy is about.

I cant help it. truth. The situation is beyond me, i cant DB, i cant talk, i cant ask questions, i cant do jack $hi& but sit here and accept my fate. Which i dont accept. Its BS. this whole thing is BS.

Good luck man, yes all of this advice that we give here is easier said than done. Again, we care about you and that is why we try to help you.

And i appreciate that, but i feel like all the luck in the world wouldn't change anything.
I dont know why i feel like shes waiting for me to reach out, i have nothing indicating that is the case, so why is that feeling so strong.

When the Judge asked us if we were reconciling, she paused and waited for me to answer. this may be it.