There are so many scenarios that makes no sense to us, but makes sense to other people.
One possible one with your sister, and I have seen with many people, and in this book I am reading.....
People self-sabotage because something in their brain tells them they don't deserve something good. Like your sister and the awesome first husband. Perhaps there is something in there that felt like she couldn't be good enough. It's truly sad. Sometimes people actually think they are doing the other person a favor.
There are so many depths to people that we could never truly understand. I have been learning that so much over the past few years.
I think I have told you..... my exH was my friend's boyfriend. I never ever let myself live it down what I did. I still have to deal with it in IC. She showed me at the time in my life it was a survivial mechanism. I lost everyone, I was 18, and I was scared I was going to die. In my head, it was hurt my friend, or not survive. I was not the kind of person who would hurt anyone like that. But I did. Good news is our friendship survived and we are very close.
I think not all people who do bad things are bad people. For some it is a survival mechanism.
You being there for support the way you are I am sure is a great help.
