arsh! Firstly, I am so sorry for the mediation process and what a huge clusterf#$K this is. I haven't been through that process so I can't give you any good feedback. But, don't beat yourself up for getting emotional - you're a human being and this is just an atrocious situation and of course you're going to feel what you feel.
I totally understand him wanting to stay at home to keep up appearances. I know how South Asian communities are. He doesn't want to be looked badly upon and keep up his reputation. The fact that he wants to move away is just a sign of escapism and he doesn't have to deal with the negative backlash from the community. If you can, i don't think you should let him get his way with this. If he wants a D, he can get the hell out.
Also, him on the phone all the time is not a good sign. Even if you know his whereabouts and he's not doing anything, it could easily just be an EA for now. Maybe once he can get away, it could turn into something else. If there is a way for you to get intel, then do that just to confirm things. If not, then let it go and just move forward with DB anyways. The truth will eventually come out in some way. People in South Asian communities talk and he can't hide his nonsense forever.
My only thing for you is that keep your focus on you and your kids. Let him be and do whatever he's doing. you need to get healthy and heal.
