I didn't see Andrew's earlier post as telling you to give up and I don't see this one that way either. You express so much pain and vulnerability in your writing. I think the point he is trying to make is that you appear to view yourself as a passive hostage to this situation, but that you have the right, and indeed, the power to make a decision for yourself and put it into action. Sometimes just remembering that, whether we do it or not, gives a bigger sense of control in the situation.
I think personally I used to be on the fence about the whole MLC thing, but I believe it now. I don't think these folks are turning up in mass numbers, both before and after, to mental health professionals who are seeing the progression. There are definite similarities to these situations. There are definite differences to your normal divorce.
That yours would walk away from your life to . . . nothing, while seemingly running every time you call, is very peculiar in itself. I know you've had a few reports here and there, but it doesn't like there is a high life going on. Rather someone who struggles to get through one day to the next. How come yours never speaks of divorce or finalizing things between you.
Mine has to work himself into a rage, or cause me to rage from some action, to even be able to threaten divorce. Then he threatens and will not pursue. He went from being a fairly involved and supportive father into a complete dropout. He went from a somewhat decisive person, to one who my son describes as being in a fog and forgetful. He turned to the family that he ran away from for 25 years. I could go on and on, as I'm sure you can.
I don't think anyone in your situation questions why you would want him to come back. I think we all just want to see you hurt less, to wait less, to find you more, while time inevitably passes.
