The bomb woke me up, but she won't talk

[lusa]

JJ

Thank you so much for your input.
I have gone back and read as much of your sitch as my time has allowed so far, I am up to 10/27/17 where your W has finally started opening up to you. Your sitch has been so insightful to me, reading your questions on detachment etc and the answers from the vets has been invaluable.

As you are aware I am just starting to detach and Sandi's words on what to stop doing around the house with a WW really match my situation.I will continue reading your sitch for inspiration but wanted to post what I plan to do tonight hoping for some affirmation or advice.I am scheduled to pickup d10 from Tennis and bring her home where my W will prepare dinner for us all.

On Tuesday I was at the family home and a few things came up, which in hindsight I wasn't happy with my response to, as now I see my balls are in my W's purse and I need to take them back.

The topic of maintaining the garden came up and W asked if I would do it or if she should get a gardner, when I said I would do it, she said that's fine but she doesn't want be bringing up the work i've done if she makes a decision that teh MR is permanantly over. After consideration and in the name of detaching, I am going to tell her it's fine for her to get a gardener and doing this work at the house is just another thing I miss that I am letting go of.

I asked if I should take the heavy trash bins to the front of the house and she replied "I don't mind", so I didn't do it then she reitarated she didn't mind in a way I was expected to take it as yes please. In the end she said yes please and I did it.

I am going to tell her that i won't offer to do any of these things anymore, and that if she wants me to do something she can ask nicely and I'll then consider it.

Also S13 is booked to stay at my place on Saturday evening, so when she asks me about these arrangements I'm just going to say have him ready in the evening and I'll come and pick him up rather than can I come round and do something with you all in the day?, which is the sort of thing I used to say.

I feel that this is a much better, Alpha, detaching attitude, does it sound better to you?