I decided that Sunday id plan the meals for the week and let my girls pick which meals they wanted to have while they were with me (Determined by my W to be Saturday thru Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday with her,etc
Wait, are you saying she will have the girls only two days out of the week? Wednesday & Thrusady.....sounds about right. Leaves long weekends opened for her. Well, she'll change it around a dozen times b/c nothing is going to work well for her.
Yes, she had them two days, then two days off, then three days and the following week it's opposite. I found out this past Friday, WW went to a concert and MIL watched my girls. She told them at bedtime it was too late to call me and say goodnight. I told both my girls no matter what time of the day or night, if they call me I will answer.
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WW says "so glad I hurried the girls back and all your doing is mowing, I could have spent more time with them"
I realize the nice guy in you is in the habit of giving her explanations or accountability for everything you do, but all that changes now. Yoir time and what you do when the girls are there, is none of her business. She wanted to have free weekends, and several holidays fall on Sunday......guess she didn't consider that into her plans. Anyway, you were kind enough to let her have the kids awhile on Mother's Day......then she grips at you b/c you had been mowing? You gave her way too much explanation. Break yourself from this habit, b/c she has fired you, remember? You owe her no explanations.......especially detailed ones.
Thank you for pointing that out. I like the example of I've been fired and will keep that in mind. I gave her too much response, attention and my time over that.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Sounds like unnecessary work, moving the dresser and things into the garage and then calling her. I would ask her when she was going to get the rest of her things, and if she just brushes it off...then move it to the garage and not say anymore about it. The cat, however, is another story. I mean, it's not like she has to build an outdoor pen for it. Next time she comes by the house, hand her the cat and tell her to take it home with her.
Well I haven't moved the dresser and will let it stay where it is for now, like you said unnecessary work at this point. The cat however got discussed before I read your response. I had texted we to see if she was picking the girls up at school (since she never confirmed it with me) and also asked her when she planned to pick ttbe cat. She said she needed to figure that out and then she sent another saying she needed to swap her winter tires and rims over to the summer tires and rims on her vehicle. I responded"you've had a week to figure this out, your cat and tires will be ready to be picked up after work tonight. She responded pissy saying oh well, if this is how it is going to be she would come get her bike and kayak. Then another text "last I knew it was my house too?!" I replied, the tires you mentioned being ready along with the cat have nothing to do with your bike, house, or kayak. She thanked me for the clarification.
I told my girls I was going to drop the cat off with Mom. They got upset and said then they wouldn't have a pet at home and there were already pets at Mom's. Tonight I found out my WW was planning on giving the 13 year old cat away. I told her don't bother, I'll take care of it as it would be unfare for the girls to loose a pet over this. WW offered to pay for food and litter and I excepted.
I feel I'm in a good place right now. My mood has been good this past week and I've dropped the rope. I haven't been on the forum much as it makes me think about the sitch too much so instead I've been enjoying GAL and working on myself. I've been able to make progress detatching for a few reasons. First, after a meeting with the vice president of our credit union that knows my situation, she told me that I've got a lot going for me. I'm attractive, got a good head on my shoulders, have one of the nicest homes in town, financially do well, and have a nice work ethic. She told me finding someone like myself is rare. After leaving the meeting, I got a boost in confidence. I realized I have a lot going for me and a lot to be proud of. I'm intelligent, earned two college degrees, have two happy healthy girls, a nice home, and within ten years will own my own business. If my WW doesn't appreciate me and what I have to offer then she will miss out and I know others out there would love to trade places with her.
The second reason is that back when WW was on her phone constantly after I had told her the convocation with OM had to stop, I thought I had seen a page with profiles. I began to wonder if she was on a dating site so I joined a few. I never saw her and recently logged on to one to see what was available. I realize it's not the best thing to do but I am lonely and what I found was a beautiful girl working on a bright upcoming career. She was divorced and stated she was not perfect but loyal and knew what she wanted and wouldn't settle for anything less. After reading her profile, I fit right into everything. I could not get her off my mind and wanted to start a conversation with her in the worst way.That would mean I'd need to add pictures and info to my profile! That night I woke from a dead sleep with this mystery girl on my mind.The next day I had come across something, reading about the journey I'm on and not to have a rebound relationship. Not to mention, dating while married is against my beliefs. I realized I need to forget about creating a profile and chatting. Forget about this girl if I ever wanted to R with WW so that is what I have done. Everything happens for a reason and it showed me there are other attractive women with nice careers and goals around if and when the time comes to date.
This past weekend was my first weekend/three days alone. I got to finally go to the new brewery my friends have started up. While there, another buddy I hadn't seen since summer came in so we had some beer together. I ate there, left, and joined a close friend for some more drinks while celebrating his daughters birthday. Sunday I took my new bike for a 50 mile ride and had an ice cream along a Lakeshore after mowing the lawn for two hours and working around the house.
Today I saw WW at work when she picked up my daughters. It was the first time in 8 days. It felt strange that I didn't have any thoughts. Nothing I wanted to talk about, no comments in my mind like I normally would (like dang she looks good). We briefly talked about the girls and she left. I find that I no longer care what she's up to and who it's with. This weekend I'm taking my girls and the camper camping for two nights/three days. Im almost done loading it up. Alot of work alone but I'm capable of it all. Then tonight I got offered to go whitewater rafting with a friend and ten others next weekend. I've realized my life has changed but shown myself I can do this. I know it is early and under two weeks in but I'm in control and can have the life and activities I want even if my wife is not here to support or join me. In some ways, having more freedom now is allowing me to do things I wouldn't have done in the past and I'm thankful for that.
