Letting Go (Saying ILY Pt 4)

[mtb1981]

By feeding and interacting, letting her come back and remove things that's enabling.

It's a minimal life support but it is keeping WW from rock bottom and making that rock bottom a further depth.

V

I get what you're saying, and I would have rather been gone today and avoided the whole situation...

I'm not sure there's much I can do right now. She's legally still allowed to be at the house because it's the marital home. Until the paperwork goes through in a couple of weeks, I can't keep her out. The police she has brought over several times have said the same. I'm also not legally allowed to keep the children away from her either. She still has full parental rights until a court decides otherwise. Until we file the paperwork, I feel as though my hands are tied. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the kids by not letting her in. We were all outside when she showed up, so the option of just not answering the door wasn't there. She wanted to see the kids for a bit, and they've all been asking to see her a lot the past couple days. I didn't want to deny them seeing their mom for what little tinme she does decide to show up. I also don't want things to be held against me when we do go to court. She'll twist things around and say that she's been trying to see the kids, but I won't let her. I'm afraid that would make me look bad. I think I'm better off allowing her in to see them once a week for the 20 minutes she shows up and keep documenting her absence in their day to day lives and extracurricular activities. I want the court to see that she's not around by her own choice, not that I keep them from her...

As far as taking the food and decorations, it was all stuff I didn't want anyway and I didn't see it as being necessary to get into a fight in front of the kids over stuff I don't want. It's not like she's starving either. She gets more benefits in food stamps than she can spend anyway. The expired jar of organic almond butter was just taking up space. I know I probably just should have told her no, but it didn't seem worth it to me at the time to have a yelling match over junk in front of the kids...

Can't wait to have official possession of the house, then I won't have to deal with this because she won't have any legal rights to be here. Then I can just tell her to leave. That if she wants to see the kids, send me a text and set up a time, and she can pick them up...