New Year, new thinking..

[AndrewP]

Coly - For quite some time you've been drifting in the stream (one of my favourite games is "Pooh sticks") but not really going anywhere.

It's generally frowned on here but have you given any thought to the "end game"? It appears from the outside that he's perfectly happy now 2 years out being "single" but with you storing his stuff for him and being the "bench wife" - to stretch a hockey analogy. You don't want to sit on the bench I know but have done so for a whole variety of reasons.

The things that I and others here had to deal with, the depression, the anger and yes, the infidelity don't seem to be a factor there. When you've talked about his parents, it seems that they have managed for years in a relationship similar to what he is perhaps thinking he has with you. I presume that he's not engaged in your D's life any more than perhaps an uncle would be and seems to treat you like a former room-mate / school chum who he likes to hang out with from time to time.

Those of us where things have dragged out with indecisiveness or perceived indecisiveness (I've gotten more cynical over the last 2 years) have a tough go of it because there's no spark or impulse to push us towards the end. For me as you may recall it was a single photograph in January of 2017 and now in May of 2018 I'm going to head up to the court to pick up my final papers in just a few minutes. Was my now ex indecisive? Did she have second thoughts? I'll never know. I need to live my life for myself and my children and not hang around waiting like a damsel with her kerchief waiting to toss to her knight errant should he happen by.

I absolutely hate "telling people what to do" so I'm going to phrase this gently. As one friend to another. What do you want that is within your grasp? You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul.

((((Coly))))