Hello, I'm new here. :)

[Jlh]

Question, how do I go about distancing when there is a child involved?

I try to talk only about our son or house issues, etc and I never ask about him. Is this how the distancing works? Im reading the books and forums but I haven't seen anything on what to do where children are involved.

I agree with Nicole's comments. Distancing just means pulling back and giving him time and space. It means quit pursuing, quit calling and texting, quit asking about the M. Just leave him be. But when you do see him for kid exchanges and such, then yes by all means be cordial. The saying around here is "treat him like a friendly neighbor". So you're not trying to -avoid- him per se, you're just not going out of your way to contact him. Does that make sense?

It does. At first I was leaving the house in a hurry or running to another room to avoid him thinking that was how to distance myself but it didn't feel right. So I've been chatting politely with him now, saying a polite goodnight to him after my son says his goodnights over the phone or when he leaves the house after tucking him in some nights.

I'm just wondering if what I did doesn't help at all: I've been cleaning up the house and getting rid of junk and clutter we don't use anymore and I took some photos of us down. I have a few still up but majority are down in a safe place and I have boxed his stuff in our bathroom and put it in the closet for now. It's just easier for me to relax in the shower at night when I don't see his stuff reminding me of him before I go to bed. Is that a stupid thing to do like it could make him think I want to end it with him? I'm trying to GAL and take care of me but I'm afraid of weird signals he may take the wrong way.