I'm in your camp ItHurts. I would play by the 80% rule and give back 80% of the time, energy, and emotion that XW gives. If she escalates you can give back more, but still 80% of the new level.
If you had no history and it was a girl you'd just met I'd agree with LH. For a woman that filed D and left the state years ago I would absolutely not take the lead, nor would I fall for the trap of getting hooked on the emotional attention she's offering until she was more direct about what beat she's dancing to.
There is no harm in the current situation. If she suddenly backs off that just means she is too flighty to have a relationship with anyway after all she's done in the past. And if she wants to be with ItHurts she'll make sure he knows when she's ready. After all they've been through if she wants him she's not going to disappear and wonder why he didn't get more assertive. They've got too much history for her to let it go over a stupid game. But the ball is definitely in her court. Frankly she'd need to prove to me that she'd changed as a person and was capable of a committed relationship before things got too serious anyway.
Yes Zues once again you nailed it. I know her well enough to know that if and when the time comes and she wants me...I will know. Also absolutely true is what you said about LH...if this was a new girl then yes I like would have made a move awhile back. In this case doing anything like that seems to premature to me ror the exact reasons you stated.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
