Hey! You're not doing anything wrong, but it seems from your last slew of posts, you are journaling here more than asking for specific things - which is totally fine. I used my threads as journals too. But, people generally respond when you have questions.
I haven't read your sitch so not familiar with everything. Just reading a few posts, looks like you're doing GAL and trying to change things up. But, mentally, your focus is not there - which is completely understandable. I am guessing this is fairly new. I will read up on your sitch to get more acquainted with it.
Yes, grief is a huge part of it. Don't try to avoid it. Best to truly lean into it, feel the pain and discomfort, sit with it, process it, and channel your energies into something positive. People try to go around the grief or numb it, but it's not going anywhere and you won't move past it without looking it straight in the eye. It will also move up your healing timeline.
Are you seeing an IC? It's not a bad idea to get help to get some assistance in terms of dealing with the grief and also having someone to help you plan what's next.
Also, I am a MLC skeptic and many LBSs come here and use the guidance about MLC as a reason to hang on to their partners with dear life. This is soul crushing and will land you being in limbo and grief land for a long time. It will short circuit your healing process. Just follow Sandi's rules for now and see what works.
