The bomb woke me up, but she won't talk

[lusa]

Thanks for your reply.

Parts of the marriage were bad for years due to her refusing affection and intimacy for around 7 years, not really even any platonic touching. Her mother died 5 years ago and the grief hit her hard. The lack of affection affected me in lots of ways and I ended up regularly demonstrating all the four horseman, Criticism, defensive, stonewalling and contempt.

She won't let me move back in and live there, although I go everyday and we regularly eat as a family. I haven't done anything so bad that I can't be there, and legally I could just take my stuff back tomorrow, its been more about me respecting her request for space. whenever she briefly mentions the M or R in passing, her words are "I just don't know", IDK if this is true or if she is trying to let me down gently or just cakeeating.

I really don't know what to do, but it is impossible to keep going there and hiding the fact that I desperately want us all back together and want to know the EA is over. I'm thinking of snooping more because if I could confirm the EA is still going on at least I would understand why she refuses to discuss us.

This is not making my life easy, but in other respects she does She cooks for us etc, plans family trips out. Am I making this worse by being there all the time and helping in the house? It is still my house and my family after all.

I have trawled this forum trying to find out what WAW experience and what I should subsequently do about this.