I asked how the search was going since its been a few weeks since she had mentioned that. "I haven't done anything yet". me: "Well, you probably should". We talked child support amounts and there is a prenup excluding any alimony so I wouldn't entertain any thoughts on that. Then came the guilt, pity, etc. "We were together 20 years, you won't help me a little to get started?" "You invested this much into this venture and lost, am I not as important as that?" Sometimes it is tough not to laugh from seeing the exact same things happen across other MR conversations on this board. I simply said again " This is your choice. When we were are in an active MR and working as a team, we work as a team. When you decide to leave our MR and no longer want to be life partners fully, my responsibility to you ends."
Brother that was all perfectly said, well done!
Quote:
Her feeling at the end was that we should probably get an independent 3rd party involved (mediator) to go through this. I said "if that is what you want then set it up". She said "I don't know your schedule". I said "you would do the exact same thing I would do, call and ask an available time, I would check with you if its ok, then book it, not that difficult". So everyone commenting that she just wants me to do the heavy lifting is accurate!
Outstanding! It sounds like you handled the entire convo perfectly. You were calm, reasonable, but stood your ground on key points. Excellent.
