All, I have to work on being a more positive person. That's one of the hardest things for me....I don't know about all of you. Many of you sound resilient and you're positive about your lives and futures after your marriages fell apart. I hope to figure out how to be that way too.
One thing that helped me with this Nicole is that realization that positivity or negativity is a choice! I grew up with a father who was very negative, and a mom who was very risk adverse. This had a profound affect on me where I was a pessimistic non-risk taker. I believe that caused a lot of trouble in my marriage since my wife was much more of a free spirited, go with the flow, everything will work out person.
I have spoken to my counselor about this too, and she reinforced that being positive was something I could CHOOSE to do. Even when my initial reaction was to be negative. It also helps to institute the 1 second pause technique before reacting. That way when my initial impulse is to be negative, I can catch it and think positively.
It takes work, but you can do it. In 6 months I have come a long way in turning around from a pessimistic, negative Nancy, to a positive, optimist. I have to say that my existence has been a lot more enjoyable. I think of it as Sadness vs. Joy in the Pixar movie Inside Out.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
