Steve85, there are lots of men out there but there are only a handful in my life that appealed to me and I only had one long-term relationship before I met my husband that started out as friendship. I never went on a 'date' in my life. In my husband's country dating is forbidden. So I have no idea how I'd meet someone especially considering when you have kids you can't just move anywhere you like so it would have to be someone close by and fit a number of other criteria. It seems like such a remote chance and risk to think of someone new. I just can't imagine anyone else....
Nicole, all LBSs feel this way. After all we think who would want a divorced, single parent etc. However, it can and will happen eventually. You are young and have a full life ahead of you. Based on your history, you probably thought prior to meeting your husband that the likelihood of you meeting someone, falling in love and getting married was low too.
My point is that being so invested in someone else isn't healthy. I know because prior to meeting my W I was there with a girl (now woman) I knew since I was in grade school. Being that vested in someone gives them unique power over you, power that they really enjoy. Your H think she can swoop back in anytime he wants and you will accept him with open arms. Kayla (not her real name) felt the same way about me up to even just a few years ago. In fact, last time I spoke to her she was very cold because I had finally made it clear to her that there was zero chance of us being anything more than we currently are.
Don't give him that much power over you. For years I gave great girls that were interested in me no chance because they weren't Kayla. I gave Kayla power she didn't even realize she wielded, and that was not healthy for me nor for our relationship.
Look, I know telling someone that they should move on is a lot easier than actually moving on, but think about the power you have given to him. Does he deserve it?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
