Seems like we are all on the same page regarding the funeral. Thank you to everyone who responded, think I just needed some reassurance on how I was feeling about the subject.
dusty, the disappearing posts only happen to me when I cut and paste from word, so you may want to type the post out if you tried cutting and pasting it.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Journaling I guess, Had stuff on my mind and this seems to be the only place to let it out. Co-workers are done hearing about it! Life is moving along, getting easier everyday but I still have "those days" that I just want to forget. I seem to have the routine down as to how I conduct myself with and without the kids, financially things have so far been better that planned and my kids seem to be doing OK.
XW and I are communicating better, had a good talk with her the other day and we actually looked at each other, I can still make her laugh even though she told me last year that i'm no fun to be around! lol We are doing our best to co-parent and she made the point to tell me she has deleted all social media from her phone as she felt she wasn't focusing on the kids enough. This was an issue last year when I told her that she needs to put them first! She now seems to be trying to compete with me as to the activities I do with the kids, they tell her all the time as to what we do and maybe she's jealous??
Upon talking with her we discussed S13 upcoming birthday, they are with her for his birthday and I won't see him. Xw said she was taking them to dinner and the movies and she asked me if I wanted to come along?? This is the first sign in a long time that her now hardened shell is softening, I know this doesn't mean a thing other than s13 wants me to come. No mind reading, no expectations, just being there for my kids, like always!!
Following Coconut's lead,,,, I created an OLD profile and met a woman close to where I live, we chatted a bit and then met for drinks and conversation. This is the first woman in 26 years other than my XW that I have been out with. Was nervous at first but she made me feel very comfortable and we had a great time. Gave her a nice kiss and hug and left to go home. Woke the next morning with a nice text telling me how much fun she had and wants to go out again soon! Needed to wait a week as I had the kids, went out for dinner and drinks and ended up back at my house.
Don't judge but it has been a long time!!! We had a really good night but the days after my self doubt kicked in and realized I am not ready yet. We talked about this and she says she understands because the year after her dovorce she felt the same way but still wants to see me. I guess I'll see how this goes. The old nice guy me would probably never say anything but I have learned how to express my feelings. I have a lot of work to do on myself but I feel a lot better in that aspect of my life. That's all, have a good day.
I say this all the time, so some of the other readers have "heard" it before, but I think we all move on according to our own timeline and we have to do what is right for us when it feels right. It isn't anyone's place to say that you should wait a certain amount of time or you should be doing this or not doing that or whatever. For me, it took about a year to be ready. I have a good friend from college who went through a divorce last fall and about a month after his divorce was final, he was dating again. So, I think we all just have to do what works for us and take care of ourselves first and foremost. It will all come out in the wash.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Dawn, Totally agree with what you said. One of the facilitators from my Divorce Care group feels that I am much further along in the process as at BD I instantly looked at myself to make the needed changes to me! But I did realize that I am not ready to invest the time needed to build a relationship with this woman and I think she know's and understands where I'm at.
V
I had a good time with her, she wants to see me again but I'm just not sure, she has given me a much needed ego boost, this has reaffirmed that i'll be alright in this facet of my life. When the time is right to date I know I'll have the confidence to do this. Right now I needed this, and I believe she did as well.
So..... Received an email from the XW the other day basically threatening me to file a contempt of court because of back child support. This issue will be taken care of this week, don't want to be labeled a dead beat!! Can't get into the why's on this matter in case the XW found this site. In this email she basically started to spew all this nonsense about how she lost out in the divorce and how I won and how I will be much better off???? Who says stuff like this?? There is no winners in divorce from where I sit, our 3 kids are the losers, they lost their family unit as they know it but she can continue to blame me for all of this?
I have made the decision to not respond to any messages from her unless it's about the kids but this one is attacking me and I had enough of it. I am going to respond and attempt to validate all her complaints, I know I shouldn't but I do feel strongly about this, tired of continually being treated like a doormat!
