Told W I didn't want a divorce, she would have to file herself, I couldn't stop her, etc. Now she is saying I am abusing her by holding her hostage in our marriage, by not streamlining the divorce with her. That what I should have told her was there was no way I could expect her to give me another chance. If I don't speak my thoughts to her, she thinks I'm abusing her by withdrawing. If I speak my thoughts and they aren't what she wants to hear, she gets just as hurt and angry. I tried to tell her that as strongly as she wanted a divorce, I did not. That she could choose to file, but I am allowed to make my own choice. She just doesn't understand that and thinks I am being stubborn and controlling. And me being calm gets me accused of being emotionless and robotic.
Yeah, well this is pretty par for the course. WAWs/WWs want their husband to do all the work and then try to guilt them into doing the work when the H refuses.
Also, why are you withdrawing from her? Detachment is not withdrawal. Make sure you are lovingly detaching, not ignoring. Also, calm is emotionless and robotic. This is actually a good sign. She is angry that she has lost control over you by being able to manipulate your emotions. Keep that 180 going!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
