My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance

[ovrrnbw]

Hey joejoe1, I already had the proof of what she was doing (unfortunately). I've been detaching.

Her family already knows she has been doing this, but since going full LRT 2.5 weeks ago, I haven't spoken with them but once. I'm not going to initiate a convo with them.

I've been doing the GAL thing. It's been great for me, definitely feeling better and stronger mentally. WW asked several times last week where I was with and who I was with.

Also, I know that another week has gone by without her filing for D. I have a theory that she doesn't want to do it. She is still trying to hurt me, control me, and she sees herself as the victim. I think she is trying to do all this stuff to get me to file, or the WW has no clue what she wants to do. What is she waiting for? I can't think why else you'd wait. She is definitely running from the pain, the marriage. She is doing like a high schooler too: "tell H 'it's over', officially shack up with new BF, problem solved!".

Running from the pain is kind of her MO. She never dealt with the trauma that she went through (that was mentioned page 1). I have a feeling it happened in the spring, now that I reread her St. Valentine's card. She mentioned the time of the year, and how great it was, because that's when we met and some memories. But now I wonder if she was overcompensating because of the pain of that trauma she never got over. I know she didn't get over that pain, because she gave me her journal entry from 1 year ago around the beginning of April. This was the entry where she stated she wishes we could talk about it sometime, but always chickened out.

How long can her little happy world continue to exist? There are a few people that know what's going on as far as her affair, and I know everyone can see the desperation on her social media. Posting frequency, pictures, just pretending she is living a perfect life. I don't have any of that social media, but it was something my sister and I discussed. I know the one friend of hers I told is paying attention, as is WW's sister (who is probably just as lost on what the hell is going on). I'm sure my sister in law sees this stuff and it makes it back to my in laws. The fantasy world she created is under constant assault by all of the normal things that pop up that married couples have to deal with. It's all been brushed under the rug for 2 months, so it is piling up. And, at some point, is the OM going to tire of her not filing, listening to her marriage problems (b/c I sure haven't heard many - I'm GAL)? OM and his family are pretty trashy, again letting a married woman in the family home where momma's boy stays. Maybe they'll never care because trash is trash.

With the holiday weekend coming, I'm sure that's going to evoke some emotion. Holiday weekends are big weekends or her family, and going to a certain place where we have second homes. WW is probably not going to have any come with her to this place, because most of her friends don't care about going there. And WW's 2 closest friends are waitresses, they're probably working anyways. OM wouldn't be allowed, although I'mm not ruling out him going there and her going out to see him a couple times. Because of this, she is going to have sometime alone with family that I think is going to feel awkward and sad for her. There is a small chance WW doesn't go, but that would majorly rocking the boat in her side of the family.

I've thought about filing for D myself 2 times, only briefly. I am going to see my priest and talk to him more. I just need to keep my resolve on repairing this marriage and not waffle, even in my head, about what I want Thank you guys for reading and responding, it really helps me a lot.