I agree you will not be able to make progress or move forward until you reveal that you know.
Your W seems to be showing good signs, but she can't keep living in the dark.
You are a great, husband, father, and man. She would be a fool to lose you.
As you mentioned, when you show her the alpha, you the contact you want. It won't be no different, when she is placed in a position to choose you over OM.
Keep uonthe great work.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.