Here's my take on the conversations that took place recently between you and your h. Others may not agree, but I think you need to take a giant step back and allow him to mull things over. The conversations sound like you may be going round and round on how you both feel. I sense from what he stated, that he resents you in many ways, i.e., if what he says is true, then you are sounding more like his authority figure/mother, than a spouse. If you have had these conversations before, then nip step back, allow him to mull things over. Both of you are very strong willed people and each of you sees your situation differently and no matter what, you both will continue to feel the way you do until something changes.
Continuing to defend yourself, your feelings and actions may be telling him that you aren't really listening to him. MLC is all about him, not you. Yes, you are hurt, frustrated and disgusted, but it's time that Gerda focus on herself and do what she needs to do for herself, her family and the business. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes the best advice we give is to do and say nothing and just leave them entirely to themselves for a while.
As for the business, you both have stated how you feel about the bills and paying them. He knows that you sit down on Fridays and do the bills, etc. You've explained why you want your brother involved in the tutorial, but he does make good sense in wanting a professional advisor present, someone who is impartial to both parties. I would suggest that you listen to him on this one. Sometimes we have to choose our battles in order to win the war.
You've stated when you work on the finances, now it's up to him to come to you on Fridays, sit down and go over the bills, etc. You've put the ball back in his court...leave it there.
For now, sit quietly and allow the answers to come to you. Do not engage in any more discussions about the relationship for now. Let that sleeping dog sleep for a bit. Please try to remember that you can't rationalize w/someone who isn't rational or doesn't want to hear what you have to say.
BTW, I am going to clean up your posting as it's difficult to follow with all of the hashtags and numbers in it.
