Gotdie #19: patience, trust...and hope

[Gordie]

Andrew SBJ DNJ

Thank you

I was leaving and she came to hug me and squeezed my a so i did the same to her playfully and all was good

I do not think i could do the condoms but it did make me chuckle

Yes there is a big pile of s under the rug that i am willing to ignore right now

DNJ thank you for the reminders of why i am standing

Yes my emotions are mixed up right now

I am doing better at acknowledging those dang things and letting them go

I have been very steady recently so not sure why i am getting so emotional



Gerda

Yes and thank you

We share the same beliefs about sex

I do not find them old fashioned

That podcast was amazing and i never would have found it

It has gotten me thinking abouy what happens when your spouse loses his or her faith

Seems like you let them go and pray a lot

I demand respect and fidelity and right now she treats me with respect and is not chasing OMs

We still have walls up around each other

But i do feel they are very slowly coming down

There is a poster on newcomers hoosjjm

Who went from ready to divorce to happily ever after in a very short period of time

I think my fantasy was thst i would get thst dramatic turnaround and tears and remorse and passionate love making

I am clearly on a diffeerent and slower path



So another positive change in me to note

I speak my mind a lot more than i used to

At work it has resulted in more leadership and responsibility

At home my kids talk to me more

I am more comfortable saying what others find uncomfortable

But it leads to better outcomes