I agree that what you are seeing in your W is probably part of her process in learning how to deal with what she has done. After experiencing remorse and sincerely apologizing to my H, the hardest part for me has been forgiving myself. There are still things that can trigger the painful regret. Regret doesn't seem a strong enough word to use in this context. It's something you can't undo or fix.
My H's health was truly affected from the shock, stress, and hurt of my betrayal. (I mean, I was the last person on earth he would have ever thought would cheat). He had had heart surgery a few years before the A took place. Now, the doctors can't do anything but hope medication will do the job. He has never been one to talk about his feelings. His stress is turned inward, where I talk to vent mine. So, I feel responsible for putting him through that pain and whatever physical damage it may have done to his heart as a result of him reading intimate messages between the OM and me. He did tell me once that the first time he discovered it, his chest hurt so bad he thought he was having a heart attack. Of course, he never told anyone at the time.........b/c that's just the way he is (stubborn and old school).
He would never agree to go to couples counseling. So, we had to work it out ourselves. I was getting help from the board, and read a ton of books. He read a couple, I think. But I still believe it would have helped him if we had gone to MC.
Anyway, I am thrilled to hear you had a great trip and things are so good between you two. Just don't get lazy! When things get too comfortable, that's when we tend to stop working and fall back into old habits. As for the miracle part........I would say it was an answer to prayer.....and two hearts who were willing to put in the hard work. If the WW is not willing.......it's another story.
It almost feels too good to be true when you first start enjoying each other and feeling naturally good. Your W may be experiencing something like, "This is too good to last...something will happen to take it away....to punish me". But IDK......just speculating......it's part of her process.
I am so happy for you guys!! I think this is probably the best happy endings I've read in a long, long time. Not that this is the end, by any means, but you know what I mean, right? I don't want you to stop posting. I just think you will post less & less until you fade away. That's usually how people do. So now I am tearing up and getting sappy.......so I have to stop. Thank you so much for the wonderful update. ((hugs)). I am very happy for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
