She seems to be in denial about S8's feelings toward OM, or else she doesn't care. Whether or not that's the case, I think she "uses" S8 in the organization as the link with the OM, and to keep up the false appearance of everything looking legit when they are seen together or she has to contact him.
It always concerns me when a child has a intense dislike for an adult. I can't remember if you said that S8 knew there were inappropriate vibes between his mom and OM. Have you considered asking S8 about sitting down with you and Mom and let him tell her how he doesn't want to be around OM and want out of the organization? IDK if it would help, b/c she sounds determines to make S8 stay in the organization, regardless of how he feels. I'm a little surprises that you support her decision, however.
When my son was that age, he wanted to try different sports or kids activities, but then he wouldn't want to stick with it. I could understand you wanting to teach him to stick with what he starts, but in this case if he senses or has seen something inappropriate between OM and his mom......then it could really mess with him. KWIM?
In the relationship with you & W, can you tell any improvement in the interactions, the overall environment, anything? Are you still working as much as you were, or are you spending more time with the family?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
