Awesome advice SBJ. Pat her right back. She initialled. See what happens.
Might just end the cycle.
Lots of questions. Withholding out of spite, sweeping under the rug, fear of rejection, pursuing, distancing... I get it.
Over the last four months things are getting a little better. I would not worry about what is under the rug just yet, or R talks, or the affair. I think there will be time for that later, she is not ready yet.
She appears to be reaching out a bit. She wants more hugs, so hug back. You two are probably conversing more, enjoy it. Keep expectations low, live in the present, enjoy the moment. Be prepared to back off quickly if needed.
I understand your mixed feeling of material relations as things thaw out even more. I would fully expect you to have mixed feelings regard this. However, the fact you are thinking about that, suggests there has been more than vague clues. So eventually you are going to have to reconcile your emotions.
My advice. Your going to be mixed up for a while. So for the moment acknowledge your emotions and set them side, besides they are going to change anyhow. Follow your beliefs, your emotions will settle sooner or later. Ok, really nice big example. In the future, hopefully not too distance, you and W have reconciled and have a new strong M. I imagine you will not have mixed emotions then. You just got to get there.
IMO, W is being a friend and might just be starting to slowly move forward to more than just roommate / friend. W is reaching out to you a little more. I remember your coach telling you re sex - make her beg for it. I do not know about begging, but it looks like you think she moving towards asking or initiating. If so, better get a handle on those emotions.
Remember you believe in W. You believe in M. Isnt that why you were standing?
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
