A familiar story with questions. V

[RR17]

Steve, that all sounds familiar. We did MC years ago and W pulled the plug. too much MR transparency and discussion for W.

I have no idea what this one is thinking/feeling. I go by actions that I am to only half believe.

In your sitch, and they're all different, all I will repeat is without proper R including remorse and a loss, I ended up here again. Perhaps my expectations are wrong but I desire a proper R this time.

I read and will copy from another article that I recently read. It all fits in with DB. I am considering increasing my efforts in these areas.

Less Talk

Up to this point, you probably have been talking too much. Start limiting the amount of communication (talking, texting, emailing, phone calls, etc.) you have with your spouse. Keep away from emotional conversation. If your spouse invites you to talk about how you feel, give an honest answer, but keep it brief. Restrict conversations to business-of-life issues (schedules, paying bills, responsibilities, children, etc.) and avoid bringing up relationship concerns. The key is to focus on communication that allows you to remain confident, calm, and in control.

Less Time

You should be less available to your spouse. I don't mean you should selfishly refuse to do anything with him/her, but I do mean you need to make sure your calendar includes some activities/events that are just for you (or you with the rest of your family). You are capable of finding meaning and enjoyment in life apart from your spouse; they need to experience that.