Great thoughts from hoosjim and Steve85, read those a few times!
Originally Posted By: JustSad
So, she asked that I resend her some initial mediation paperwork (just some intake questions like child support, contact, health insurance, bills, etc.) that would help if we were to go that route.
I wouldn't even do that much unless YOU want D. Make her do all the work. Your stance should always be "I do not want D, but I understand it's what you want and I will respect your wishes and not stand in your way."
Quote:
W: I looked at those papers and it is pretty complicated. I think it is something that we need to work on together.
Me: I agree we need to work on them together, I just thought it would be easier for you to put down your thoughts and then we could work on the areas we would need to compromise.
W: But there is a lot of stuff in there.
Me: Yep. There is a lot of stuff to address.
W: Why are you being this way? You are always the tweaker when it comes to business/money/finance and this one you just don't seem worried about at all. And I don't understand any of this (more guilt, pity me, blah, blah, blah)
So there it is. She wants YOU to do the heavy lifting. DO NOT DO IT. Again, unless YOU want D you should not lift a finger to help her beyond providing her with any required info that needs to come from you. If she keeps pressuring you just tell her what I mentioned up above.
Quote:
Me: Sure, I'm headed out for a run, we can do it after dinner.
W: Wow, I don't know if I will be able to do that, I will probably have hit my wall (her term when she is done for the day and needs her heating pad and no deep conversations).
Me: Ok, just let me know. I'm headed out for my run. Just get me the stuff when you can.
Good! You handled that well. It's not your responsibility to put your life on hold to make it convenient for her to discuss D. If she wants to have that discussion then fine, she can do it when you're ready.
