One of my coping mechanisms was to read and listen to any material I could on anti-divorce, or coping with a WAS. I highly suggest you go to YouTube and watch and listen to videos from MWD and other experts. It can really help out in these kind of moments.
At this point in my hell-storm of a situation, listening to Anti-Divorce, Marriage Recovery type of stuff just gives me false hope and then makes me realize how utterly publicly destructive my sitch has been, and there is no way i can see R eve being an option. Even if she came begging back, had been in IC and done all these things to reconcile, i couldn't ever trust her again. She had been violating my trust for years before i ever even suspected anything, i was still living in my happy fantasy while she was weaving webs behind my back. I cant think of a way that she could earn my trust back at this point, not to mention my respect.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
