Can I really do this #2

[Dtrmned]

Good Morning Everyone.

Great suggestions, feedback and counsel from Steve and HoosJim. Thank you both! And yes, my W thinks this will be a cakewalk, easy, and everyone will be happier when it is done. AND she, of course, doesn't want to do much to move it along either. Reading through this forum I was very prepared for the quite brief conversation late yesterday afternoon. W had asked that we start putting things together. We decided after she filed and withdrew in February that if we did it again, we were going to file jointly and hopefully keep attorneys out of it. So, she asked that I resend her some initial mediation paperwork (just some intake questions like child support, contact, health insurance, bills, etc.) that would help if we were to go that route. I thought that would be a good outline for her to go through, put down her thoughts and then we could visit this together when she was ready. I sent it to her 4 times (I think I mentioned this last week), and she still had difficulty getting it. Finally got it printed out for her on Friday. Nothing since until yesterday.

Here is the conversation:

W: I looked at those papers and it is pretty complicated. I think it is something that we need to work on together.

Me: I agree we need to work on them together, I just thought it would be easier for you to put down your thoughts and then we could work on the areas we would need to compromise.

W: But there is a lot of stuff in there.

Me: Yep. There is a lot of stuff to address.

W: Why are you being this way? You are always the tweaker when it comes to business/money/finance and this one you just don't seem worried about at all. And I don't understand any of this (more guilt, pity me, blah, blah, blah)

Me: I am deeply concerned and it is very important. Again, I thought it would be easier for you to get your thoughts donw and the discuss instead of us discussing it at the dinner table while the kids are at home.

W: Well, I have some energy now (health issues sometimes used as an excuse or valid reason at this point I think a combination of both for guilt and avoidance), maybe we can do it tonight.

Me: Sure, I'm headed out for a run, we can do it after dinner.

W: Wow, I don't know if I will be able to do that, I will probably have hit my wall (her term when she is done for the day and needs her heating pad and no deep conversations).

Me: Ok, just let me know. I'm headed out for my run. Just get me the stuff when you can.

And then I left out on my run.

Of course, no mention of it the rest of the evening.

Chuckled to myself on the run as I knew that this was what she was going to do. Textbook on this forum and textbook for my W. I have always taken care of everything financial. I think I mentioned right down to she hasn't even balanced a checkbook in 20 years!

I truly want the reality to set in when she goes through this and hopefully this will lift her fantasy fog and maybe, just maybe she can see things a little differently.

Other than that, it is a beautiful day. Reread the LRT this morning. Detaching more, planning some summer activities with the kids this week as their last week is next week. No idea how my W is going to handle this as this will seriously impact her schedule. Also looking to take a business trip or 2 that are overdue (I put them off due to the current situation). And thinking about going to see a couple of friends for a weekend trip as well.