Limbo / Piecing? Daughter struggling.

[Salazar]

Steve,

Although our stitches are different, I do see some similarities. In my case, physical rejection (lack of hugging etc) is one of the things that my W cites as causing her the most pain. She is of the mindset that if she brought it up, it wasn't my idea and it shouldn't count if I do anything about it. At this point, it is a moot point I guess, because she is unwilling to have any physical touch. In my case, I have been unsure how to fix "physical rejection" without physical touch.

For several months after BD I tried being either aggressive or not doing anything at all. Neither gave any results. Just a few weekends ago I started to try and work very light/small touching into the very conversations that we had in person. She didn't recoil and it actually seemed to help some. I do not think it is a one for one comparison to some of what you are experiencing, but I think some of the ideas may help you. You can do a web search for "Kino" and it talks about things in more detail, but in my case, I would do things like, say "is your shoulder sunburnt, it looks sort of red" and then at same instant reach over and lightly touch the shoulder and say "is this sore at all". Again, I know this is very minor but it is a progression from my previous zero contact. You can adjust to your own level, but remember to show her the way, not try and talk about it before hand. Just my two cents.