JS, solid advice from hoosjim and I can say ditto. Most WWs/WAWs go into BD thinking it will be a cakewalk. Many have spent a lot of time lying to themselves. My W told herself all kinds of lies about how it would be easy and so much better for everyone involved.
It is sometimes unexpected places that reality hits them in the middle of their fantasy. A few weeks after BD, when my W was conflicted about whether to move forward with there D plans, our D14 came home from school and was talking about one of her close friends and how much they have in common. She went on to say how they always talk about how they have such idyllic lives because their parents are not divorced, like the rest of their friends. And then she started saying how many problems her friends of divorced parents have, having to deal with their step-parents, and going to visit the parent they don't live with etc.
My W even mentioned it later. I could tell her "kids are resilient" line of thinking had been shattered. You see WASs like to delude themselves that their actions do not affect others. The truth is that kids are ALWAYS affected by D. When one decides to D they need to realize that. Sometimes it is still the right thing to do (abusive relationships, drugs/alcohol, gambling etc) but even if the spouse initiating the D is innocent, they need to realize that it will hurt their kids.
Anyway, HJ solid post my friend!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
