A familiar story with questions. V

[SteveLW]

Well, it is funny you mention that. My wife and I, I feel, are in full blown R now. Remember she made a similar declaration of moving out, and after some initial activity towards that all efforts stopped. She remained "determined" for about another month after her efforts ceased. But after another month verbalized wanting to stay and even that she was recommitting to the marriage.

Now, here was what finally broke through (besides having a good MC too) was my just shutting up about the MR. She told our counselor that as we had fun together, and have fun, interesting, and stimulating conversation that her desire to stay grew. The MC then suggested going down to every other week on MC to help with that (since you spend so much time in MC talking about the MR).

I know sandi says that WWs need to have a big wake-up call, and in general that is probably true, but slowly, gradually, I watched the woman I knew prior to all of this slowly return. There are aspects of her that are healthier. She is much les likely to take things personally now, she is not afraid to stand up for herself and her thoughts and feelings, and in general she just doesn't take crap like she did a year ago. But you know what? I love that!

So RR it could be your W is on a similar trajectory, that slowing over time you guys will transition into R almost without realizing it. I don't know if she is open, at all, to MC, but if she is that can help. Our MC has had us reading books that my W would have had 0 interest in reading after BD.