This is all good advice, and I am definitely working on it as much as I can find the time.
As for GAL, the biggest thing I've done...I started my band back up. When we met, I was playing in a hard rock band. After our son was born, that went on the back burner. But in the last two weeks, it's back on. We've got a lot of work to do, but that at least keeps me busy (and gives me a catharsis).
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First I've got to ask you, why do you want to save this M? You get depressed and not only does she abandon you but she barely waits for the moving truck to depart her new place to start some sexual escapades. Is it because you are you missing your old W? Because she is probably gone and has been replaced by this "girls gone wild" person.
I want to save this marriage because it's not fair to our son for him to have to deal with long term consequences of her making poor choices. Also...I meant my vows 100%. And despite all of this...yes, I still deeply care about her.
Where I'm running into problems disconnecting is our son. He spends more time with babysitters than he does with her. So I step in and let him stay with me so he can have some kind of stability.
The divorce is pending. I realize that I don't have to help her at all (in fact, it might be better if I didn't), however my son deserves better than that, and if she won't be stable, then I feel that I must.
She's had her own depression issues since he was born (probably much longer, but she was good at hiding them), and so that in combination with mine "wore her down".
Granted, she did state she wasn't happy and she wanted me to get help a couple years ago...and I did...sort of. I started seeing a doctor, got diagnosed, and started taking meds that really made it even harder to function.
Eventually, she said she was done.
I'm definitely working out. I'm definitely working on myself.
And there are little signs that she's been softening.
But it's not enough for me to feel like it's going to work...yet. I'm willing to give it time, and I'm going to work on being the most bad455 me that I can be...for me.
