A couple of months ago, my W wanted to talk to me after I got home from work. She said she was moving out. She couldn't handle my depression. The next week she had an apartment. Within two weeks, she had already slept with a coworker. Fast forward to now, it's been at least 3 guys (she confirmed), but the number is likely higher.
So in the span of a couple of months she dumped you, moved out and started a sexfest. And this is all because you are depressed? Sorry, I'm not buying her line of BS. You may be depressed but she is rebellious and wayward. First I've got to ask you, why do you want to save this M? You get depressed and not only does she abandon you but she barely waits for the moving truck to depart her new place to start some sexual escapades. Is it because you are you missing your old W? Because she is probably gone and has been replaced by this "girls gone wild" person. She will pursue this lifestyle for many months, maybe a year or more. At some point she'll burn out and she may come back groveling for recon. In the meantime you've got to leave her to it and work on you.
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I just finished reading DR, but she found out that I've been reading it (she came over to get a few things and saw the book). Yesterday, she said "you've been sending mixed signals. I'm glad to see you're doing better, but I hope you aren't trying to save this...I hope you've actually come to terms with this being over."
Whenever she asks what you're reading, or makes statements like this, just say "I understand, I am just working on myself right now and this book was recommended by a friend, it's interesting and helping me through this." As far as you tell her, you are working on YOU, not the M.
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But she's determined to go out and have her fun. Most of the time, our son stays with a sitter while she's at work or out with her friends. I keep him every other weekend and sometimes during the week. I know that she has been going out having her fun, and it honestly kills me because for the last 3 years I've stayed home with our son while she works AND I've never stopped her from hanging out with her friends...except now it's more than just a drink after work.
OK well you've been very, very beta it sounds like. Beta is OK in a healthy relationship (when balanced with alpha) but it's not what attracts women to men. You've got to get your alpha game back. Get out, GAL. Work out, spruce up your wardrobe, whiten your teeth, get a tan, hang out with MEN. Get your cajones back! I guarantee you once you do she will start looking over her shoulder wondering what she's missing, but you probably won't care by the time she does.
