I am not snooping on the going out thing, she could be doing something during the day, but I do take our vehicle when I run some errands during the week and she averages about 50-60 miles per week on her driving.
Checking mileage = snooping.
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I don't believe anyone is coming over to the house while I am at work, as that is one of our boundary rules, and there are times that I am in the area and stop by to grab lunch or whatever. Again, not spying or snooping, this is just my schedule.
That's snooping too. Look snooping isn't the end of the world, but I want you to be more honest with yourself. You are snooping, you are checking on her, you are calculating miles, you are looking for a strange car in the drive when you are not home, etc. etc. Why does calling snooping by its name matter? Because it indicates that you are not detached. Your posts are filled with detailed info about your W and little about your GAL activities. If you follow other threads here like Maika's you will see that same kind of activity early on, his posts were very W-focused. Over time he shifted his focus to himself and that's when his real growth began. He's well on his way to being the spouse only a fool would leave and starting to see his W as a fool for leaving him. And who wants to be married to a fool? Anyway my point is to just accept that you are still very W-focused and try to think about ways you can break out of that.
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I am not initiating any conversations unless about the kids or something that needs done. I am cordial. Good Morning, Good Night, little things here and there. I do let her know I'm headed out for a run, or running an errand, feel like its only right at this point.
