Can I really do this #2

[Dtrmned]

This board has become a very important part of my GAL, getting advice, feedback, the 2x4's to my head and all the rest that I value so much.

Presently, today, this morning, I am just having one of those surreal mornings. Nothing bad has happened in the last 36 hours which is good. In fact, it has not been "pleasant", but cordial around our home. No deep conversations, just talking about the kids and short other things. No phone calls. VERY few texts. By reading other's situations and the length of time I know this is going to be a long process. I am doing all I can to not avoid, but observe from a distance, the roller coaster ride my wife is on. She is detaching from me on many, many levels but is still cake eating as much as possible. One of the "tests" will be next week. She has a few bills due which I told her that March was the last time I was going to pay them. I did cave and paid April since it was a little quick and am trying to be fair. She wants her new life, but still has made ZERO effort to get a job. She does not go out (again health issues) but does spend time on her phone/tablet a lot all day and escapes into the "supernatural" ghost, snapped, ID channel crime type stuff on tv while she is on her heating pad. I am not snooping on the going out thing, she could be doing something during the day, but I do take our vehicle when I run some errands during the week and she averages about 50-60 miles per week on her driving. Carpooling the kids and a couple of trips to the market and that all adds up. I don't believe anyone is coming over to the house while I am at work, as that is one of our boundary rules, and there are times that I am in the area and stop by to grab lunch or whatever. Again, not spying or snooping, this is just my schedule. She seems to be more productive around the house which is good, but her mood swings are swift and severe and her energy is done quickly. She might get in a light workout (30 minutes of what she calls grandma walking on the treadmill, speed of about 2.0). She adds in a 15 minute stretching and then she is pretty much done. Presently she can't sleep too well (up at 3-4-5am ish) and takes 2-3 naps per day and in bed by 10. Manages to get dinner done about 3 times a week (I make the kids lunches everyday for school and generally make breakfast on the weekends along with at last 1 dinner.
She said she printed out the forms for her or us to go through to make notes on how things will work. These were just mediation paperwork forms with an outline on subjects to discuss and come up with for the divorce. I sent these to her in September, then she asked again for them 10 days ago. I had to send them to her 4 times since she deletes all her emails (she has done this for years as she is a little ocd on the tech side so this is not a new behavior to hide anything although I do know she is using other means to hide communication with her friend (not sure if it is an EA or just a very close friendship since they have only seen each other 5 times in 18 months most during the day just for coffee or lunch).

As I mentioned she is detaching (she actually used the term a week or so ago that she needed to) so she is doing some research on what she needs to do to move on and not be co-dependent or just dependent on me. I don't know if co-dependent is the right word, as I think marriage is a touch co-dependent anyway as you are supposed to be a team, lean and count on one another through life.

I am not initiating any conversations unless about the kids or something that needs done. I am cordial. Good Morning, Good Night, little things here and there. I do let her know I'm headed out for a run, or running an errand, feel like its only right at this point.

Ok, feel much better getting this out. Again, I dislike the positive feeling you get when things just relax because you know it is just going to explode again in some way (not from me hopefully!) soon and who knows what direction that will take.

Re-read the detachment links that Cadet sent again this morning.

Any input and feedback is always appreciated and I love the support. Someday, as I get more versed and along in this, I may even start commenting on others situations and giving them some feedback as well.

What an adventure! Life is a ride. Let's enjoy the journey!