"I want to talk to you a little as humanly possible" and "OM was brought in to sons life too early"
They are critical responses and show you care. Trust me, being cold and to the point will bother her so much more. Your criticisms show her she has power to bother you. That you still care. Anger is better for her then indifference.
She is reading your responses to OM, rolling her eyes and he is feeling like a hero. Like he won some prize.
I agree with the others though. Let all this be hashed out in the decree. Put a list together of everything you feel will work nest for son in writing. Only communicate regarding essentials amd keep it to yes, no, please thank yous. No need to tell her you wamt whats best for son. That sounds manipulative. No need to say it. It puts you on the defensive.
Being a fire fighter will not mean anything to a family court judge. Fire fighters sometimes have reputations for being heavy drinkers and having a boys club mentality. Judges have seen it all.
Being prepared, having your documents in order, demonatrating that you are a responsibke dad will. That means no bad mouthing mom or OM. Especially not in writing. Your lawyer should help you with that.
