My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance

[44tries]

I was in a similar position with the bed issue when I first joined here and everyone made it clear straight away that I should absolutely not be leaving the bed. My W was firm on not sleeping together and we had originally had BS agreement about switching off (her suggestion). Before anyone opened my eyes, I thought this was an acceptable solution and was all too quick to try and accommodate!

I ended up saying almost exactly what Steve posted, unfortunately I can't remember if I included the validation part. She was trying to get her turn in the bed and saying I had gone back on the agreement to switch off, because I hadn't given it up for a few nights. I said something like, "I know we had that agreement, but I thought about it and I don't think I should be the one to leave my bed and be less comfortable when I am not the one that doesn't want to be in the MR. If you don't want to sleep in the same bed, then you should be the one to find somewhere else to sleep." The thing is, though, my W was never forceful about the issue because she knew I was right. She tried to act like she was being nice and accommodating, but when she saw I wasn't going to accommodate her anymore and give her any more turns in the bed, she did start making passive-aggressive comments all the time about not getting to sleep in it. I ignored them (that is a good example of a time NOT to validate).

This was one of the first steps I took toward standing up to my W and I have been in the bed ever since. Eventually, she gave up on her passive aggressive comments and hasn't challenged me anymore about the bed. Not sure if any of that helps, but I do think it's very important you do not let your WW have her way about the bed any longer!